As long as you’re doing something, you’re fine

That’s what they take away from you, in the work place and adult life “fill in the blank” –

spontaneous action – “you must do this, act like that, or you might make a mess”

We get really good at thinking out our actions at the expense of expressivity, intuition learned. Something that hasn’t been realized in any progressive movement, not since the 70s. Or maybe I’m out of touch, why aren’t more artists leading tech industries?

By “artists”, I mean people who care, big pictures, people like me, which is no one, trust me, I wish it weren’t that way, but there are so few of us we barely run into each other, and we’re usually too lonely-burned by the time we do to know how to function with the other. Or that’s my romantic interpretation, I was called to romantic by a male of my species. Gonna consider cross breeding with stability. This is ridiculous, to take all these perceptions into consideration every time I speak. It works ok. But it’s exhausting.

I question everything too now, I’d really like to be fired, but not really…

(the job) the money’s too good, and I’m looking down at a future of begging to family, strangers on the street, the government, exes that made better choices, begging

with a smile on my face

some sharp but useless self deprecating punch line in response to their excuse.

and nothing

back to the boardwalk of whatever beach I decided to draw at while they go back to the office.

I’d like to mix with the functionally creative world of standards and perfection that can be sold to the public with legal repercussions, but have been deemed to fantastical

what’s worse is they don’t say it to your face, they tell you you’re brilliant the entire way, until you’re not and you’re talking to no-one, overthinking more than they asked you to….

Got to go

back to a genre of alchemy I’m working on

still getting this new more interactive version of the word press posting block – (I like notepad the best)

looks of desperation can be sexy